


Wait, Did You Say Tentacles?

by mythras_fire



Series: Friday Night Chats Plot-Bunny Factory [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex is intrigued, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Michael just has awesome dreams, Not real tentacles though, One-Shot, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 07:32:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17977040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythras_fire/pseuds/mythras_fire
Summary: "Baby, be a doll and close the door, will you? The tentacle monster's trying to get back in.""Sure thing, cowboy, be right – wait, did you saytentacles?"





	Wait, Did You Say Tentacles?

**Author's Note:**

> For annunziatina ♥ 
> 
> Um, so this is what happens when you're answering your friend's comments when it's waaay past your bedtime and a plot-bunny is born, or maybe in this case, a plot-tentacle monster, and it's so cute and wee and then you have to write some Malex crack. Just sayin'.
> 
> Oh yeah, and for a bit of context, this one-shot takes place later on sometime during the same day as the first one-shot. Basically, they've cocooned themselves in Michael's caravan, hence the Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts tag.
> 
> Disclaimer: All pop-culture references and characters belong to their respective creators.

~*~

"Baby, be a doll and close the door, will you? The tentacle monster's trying to get back in."

"Sure thing, cowboy, be right – wait, did you say _tentacles_?"

...

"Guerin?"

..."Ow! What'd you poke me in the ribs for? I was sleepin' here, man."

"You were talking in your sleep."

"What were you doing?"

"Listening to you talk in your sleep, duh."

"Talking in my sleep, huh? It was something charming, I'm sure, now come back to bed; I can't spoon myself."

"You told me to close the door because the, and I quote: "tentacle monster" was trying to get back in. Care to explain?"

"Uhhhh, no?"

"No pleading the fifth, here, cowboy. Out with it. You can't just say something like that to your boyfriend and then turn over."

"Boyfriend, huh?"

"Oh yeah, you're stuck with me now, Guerin. No take-backs."

"I like the sound of that."

"Spill."

"Why, because you wish you had your own tentacle monster? Or, judging from the greenish tint in your eyes, you wish you _were_ the tentacle monster?"

"Ugh, no more watching classic movies like _20,000 Leagues Under the Sea_ for you right before bed. It obviously goes straight to that genius brain of yours and your overactive imagination takes over—"

"And all of a sudden there's tentacle monsters trying to sneak into the Airstream to have their wicked way with you?"

"Scooch over, you're hogging, like, the whole bed. Seriously, Guerin, we're gonna need a bigger boat."

"Yeah, ok there, Roy Schneider."

"Ha ha, whatever. _JAWS_ is a classic."

"You're a classic. Oh, I dunno, I kinda like how cozy it is in here. Makes it easier for me to *kiss* have _my_ *kiss* wicked way with you *kiss*."

"Mmmm, yeah, you make a good point. Let's do that next. But first, tentacles."

"Hah, glad to see you have your priorities in order, private."

"Well, you've piqued my interest. So that's what you were dreaming about? You have a secret desire to watch me get taken by a giant squid? That's pretty kinky, there, cowboy."

"We all have our crosses to bear and our cross-eyed bears."

"Yeah, ok there, Weird Al."

"What, the man is a musical genius. The Shakespeare of Musical Parody. The Impresario of—" 

"*kiss* Focus, babe. Please tell me it's actually more like those hentai cartoons where there's tentacles that kind of just appear out of the background and aren't really attached to any sea creatures real or imagined? *kiss*"

"And where would an upstanding veteran such as yourself have seen such risqué cartoons, one wonders?"

"Guerin, I've been in the Air Force. For ten years. Surrounded by men who are away from their WAGs for months, sometimes years at a time. It would have been a miracle if I _hadn't_ been subjected to watching hentai while everyone around me jacked off."

"I take it from that 'do not want' look on your face that there weren't enough tentacles in those cartoons to hide the girly bits from view, huh."

"Sadly, no."

"And you never... say, played 'hide the tentacle' with any of the other guys who didn't have their eyes glued to the computer screen and a hand down their pants?"

"I got shot at every day. For a living. I spent my downtime trying to keep it from happening when I was off duty as well."

"Yeah, but... ok, well, yeah, I guess that woulda... but, wow, really? Nobo— *sigh* Fucking military."

"Couldn't have said it better myself. But seriously, it was... okay. I got my needs met when I could do it safely, which granted, wasn't that often, but still. 'Sides... I only ever thought of you anyway, so it's not like it would been fair to the other guy. *kiss*"

"See, that's where the tentacles would have come in handy."

"*snerk* You're such a goofball."

"You know you love it. Wanna feel my tentacle?"

"I have been feeling your tentacle for the last five minutes, thanks. Now it's starting to drool on my stomach. I think it's really enjoying our talk."

"That's because it knows how the rest of my dream went."

"Oh really? Do tell."

"It prefers to show rather than tell, but it needs an assistant. Would you care to participate?"

"To take part in my own yaoi tentacle wet dream? With you? Hmmm... I'll have to think about that and get back to—" 

"*kiss* Now who's the goofball? Less talking, more kissing!"

"Bossy tentacle monster is bossy."

"Yeah, well, snarky boyfriend is – wait, did you say _yaoi_?"

~*~


End file.
